Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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