Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
