Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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