I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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