Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
