he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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