guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize