I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
