so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm like, not good at living.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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