Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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