My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize