I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
