that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize