any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
