Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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