My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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