Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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