words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize