Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
