Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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