Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
