I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize