I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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