Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
