I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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