sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
vagina is talking i cant
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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