fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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