Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
