I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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