$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
