Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
