i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
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