I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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