If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
