i don't like sucking hair
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
