I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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