How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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