Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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