I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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