Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
