Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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