Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Randomize
