Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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