Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
