I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
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