I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
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