we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
3 2 1 whiskey
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
