she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
