is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were destined to go to rehab together
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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