Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
