dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
