Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
