Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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