we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
