well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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