Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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