She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
