she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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