i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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